Fearful.

I know the cool thing to be is fearless... especially after Taylor Swift's catchy song about letting all your worries go and being completely void of fear. But, that's not always the case, sorry T-Swift. Most of the time I'd like to think of myself as being a pretty Optimistic Olivia, but some things just get to me. I think it's part of being human, darn the bad luck. 

Anyways, I have been talking to more and more people from Seattle, my future home after graduation this May. They are recommending the trendy restaurants, hip coffee shops, and the cultural and alternative things to do. I get butterflies and envision myself bundled up in my trench coat and infinity scarf walking the cool Seattle streets. I'm going to have a stable income and great job, living in one of the hippest cities in the country, and I cannot wait as I hear all the stories of the amazing city.

Image via WeHeartIt

Then it hits me, fear. Reality sets in as I figure out I'm going to be alone, with a closet of clothes, boxes of books, my stuffed Winnie the Pooh, and zero furniture. An anxiety creeps up and overcomes the butterflies of excitement and realize my family is no longer going to be a half an hour car ride away. I won't be able to drive to my Grandma's when I had a bad night and want nothing more than her couch and waffles for breakfast. My mom won't be on-call to go out for Mexican food when I just need some mom-time. I can't call my sisters to go thrift store shopping and check out the new coffee shop with me, or my dad and brother to fix whatever technology issue I tend to get myself into. It hurts, this fear, and makes me doubt my decision to move up the coast.

Then I realize, it's an amazing job that will afford me some of the greatest opportunities of my career. My family is the most loving collection of people I know, and I know they will be there for every phone call when I'm too lonely in Seattle or when I book a weekend flight to Phoenix when I can't bear the rain any longer. I've heard many times that if something didn't scare you at some point, it wasn't worth doing. So I'll embrace the fear, the anxiety, and the excitement and positivity and prepare for some hard times, but know that there is a bright future ahead of me full of love- even if the love is now 26 hours away.

Be okay being afraid, because though fearless is glamorous, fearful is real... and it's okay.

Take care,
Alex

Center of the Universe.

One thing goes slightly wrong and I think that my life is spiraling out of control. Someone doesn't text me back and I feel like no one really likes me. Why is that things so small can seem so vast and huge in our lives? I'm freaking out because maybe the guy I had my eye on, has his eye on the girl that probably has her eye on the other guy. I am on top of the world, and happy has can be, then one thing doesn't go my way and it occupies my mind like a tsunami of thoughts my brain can't raise above to get a breath of sane air. 

I was thinking about this, and as I'm going to dwell on this with my roommate she speaks before I get words out. She can't find seem to find a job, or even places to apply, for after graduation. She isn't even quite sure what she wants to do post-graduation and where she wants the direction of her life to lead. That's right - she's figuring out the direction of her life as I'm complaining that it's been over an hour and I haven't received a text back from a guy I'll get over in a month.

Where I'm going with all this is that we are all the center of our own universe. We have been told for years that 'you're not the center of the universe,' but I'd like to counter that. We are indeed the very center of our universe, it's all we know. It's the non-stop flow of thousands of thoughts a day. So when everything in my life is going right, and I honestly don't think most of the time it could be better, I have to find something to occupy my thoughts. Because perfection isn't much to think about, we have to pinpoint some aspect of our lives to spin around our heads like the washer on spin-cycle. So, while you're thinking about why you got a 91% on that paper, and not a 97%, or why you spent that extra $5 on the coffee you could have made yourself, or contemplating your future, your love life (or lack thereof), you're not alone. I just think while we're all the center of our universe, we might as well make it a bright, sunny center. So choose to think about the exciting new recipe you're going to try, or the perfect outfit you can't wait to Instagram, and have hope for your future and the exciting things to come because it's better to dream than to dwell.

Keep thinking, positively.

Alex

My ASU Bucket List.

So I made a bucket list of things I want to do in my last semester of college. Ew, I hate saying that. Can college last forever and ever? It's Monday I'm reliving my amazing weekend I just had and I never want it to end. I know I can still have fun after graduation, and don't get me wrong, I'm extremely excited for the adventure that awaits me after this semester, but I know it'll be different. I have all kinds of friends, school friends, work friends on-campus, work friends off-campus, club friends, frisbee friends. I'm surrounded by so many amazing people and get to spend my time surrounded by them, doing great things and I'll soon be moving to a city where I will know approximately one person.

My last first day of school outfit! Looking back, I probably should have chosen something a little more .. remarkable. It could have been worse, but I definitely have better outfits. Here's to a semester of fun events and good exciting outfits!

I've got 4 more months to take advantage of this wonderful thing, so I made myself a bucket list. Here are some of the things on my list:

• Play Frolf on campus (frisbee golf)
• Hike 'A' Mountain at sunrise or sunset
• Sing karaoke in front of strangers
• Take a pedal boat out on Tempe Town Lake; I've worked there for more than 2 years and have seen so many people praise how fun it is, whine about how hard it is, and everything in between. I'm ashamed to say though I've been in a pedal boat more times than I can count, I want the whole experience of going around the lake, even if my co-workers will make fun of me.
• Go to an ASU football game, basketball game, and baseball game at least once; I've done the first two, but want to go to a baseball game and hopefully another basketball game and enjoy being a Sun Devil fan!
• Go to a play or musical at Gammage Auditorium (ASU's amazing theater venue)
• Get a drink between or before class at The Vine; because that's just too college 
• Join or create a game of sand volleyball on the SRC fields
• Take a picture on the horse in front of the Business building
• Drive through Jerry's Drive-Thru liquor; it's practically an ASU landmark and I want to say I have
• Take a road-trip and hike the Grand Canyon; now that I'm old enough to really appreciate it, and while I live so close to this wonder of the world, I really want to re-visit it
• Go to the green house on top of the Life Sciences building
• Have a picnic in the Secret Garden on campus
• Take a dip/splash in the MU fountain

That's the majority of if, and I'm doing my best to mark my calendar to make these things actually happen! I'll tell you soon about some of the awesome events I have planned with my friends. 

Happy MLK Jr. Day! Enjoy the holiday weekend!

Alexv

Tunesday.

Finallyyyyyy got Ben Gibbards new album. I waited far too long to get it, but so glad I can listen to it on repeat!

Here's one of my favorite songs from the album... today anyways!



I have lots of exciting plans this semester and all kinds of upcoming events I can't wait to share. I hope you all are having a lovely week!
Alex

Tunesday.

Just fell in love with this song, I hope you enjoy!

School technically started yesterday, but because I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, today is my first day back to school! My last first day of school, ever! Okay, unless I decide to get a Masters a few years down the road during my career path. But for now, let's just go with my last one - it's more provocative! haha



Although I loved watching an intense amount of Netflix and laying in bed for hours, it's good to get back in the swing of things! I'm hoping with a lighter school schedule I'll be able to better document my last semester of college!
Have a Happy Tuesday!
Alex

Searching for something.

Have you ever just been in a slump? Like you need one extra ingredient to make your life just right? I'm not going to lie, my life is pretty darn fantastic. But with it being the new year and winter break wrapping up quickly to a new semester. I've found my self dying for a new addition to my routine. I was thinking maybe a new job, a new sport, volunteering more, some kind of hobby to keep me engaged. You'd think with 3 jobs I'd have that covered, but my school schedule is looking dainty and I thrive when I'm super busy. I want that feeling back where I don't have time for anything and I'm constantly going from one thing to another with no down time. Is that a bad thing?

One of my good good friends and I at a holiday party a few weeks back. Dress via Goodwill, oh how I love thrift shopping and dressing so outrageously without caring.

Anyways, I'd love ideas from anyone who may have something to offer! A new hobby you've found engaging, a great place to apply, a sport or workout routine or gym to give a shot at... I'm up for anything. As one of my resolutions said, try new things, and I wanna do my best to soak up every last ounce of this final semester of college.

Hope your weekend is great!
Alex

So this is the New Year.

Happy New Year! I thought I'd write my resolutions down here so I'm constantly reminded to live up to them, because if other people know them, I'm more likely to commit.

1. Print a picture a week; either from Instagram or my iPhone, or off my Canon. I think it'll be cool to have 52 pictures at the end of the year to recap 2013.

2. Spend money on experiences, not things. Go out to eat with friends and revel in good company, don't splurge on shopping by myself. This might be especially hard when I have an actual salary, but I want to continue to live by this.

3. Read more books. I'm aiming for at least one new one a month, I know sometimes that's a little difficult, so I'm just striving to read more than I have the past couple years, which honestly wasn't much!

4. Try new things; new restaurants, new hobbies, new sports, new people and friends.

5. Be kind, be happy, worry less and smile more.

My amazing friends and I on NYE.
 Sequin blazer from an estate sale, tank from Forever 21, skirt from Ross, ring from NYC that is sadly lost on Mill Ave somewhere (so so sad about that). 

I hope you all took some time to write down some resolutions, or maybe goals for the upcoming year! This is probably going to be the most life-changing year of my life, and I am totally ready to embrace the fantastic change to come. Graduating college, leaving all of my family and friends, moving to Seattle, starting a wonderful new career. It is all so exciting and crazy I can't believe I only have a few months of class and college left and can't imagine where I will be a year from now. I hope the coming year brings lots of growth, happiness and smiles to you all.

Happy New Year!
Alex